That friend that was.....

I was busy today, I was very busy. I have worked on a project for four hours flat. While working on it I stumbled upon something. Something that was a true reflection of how I felt. Something that gave me a solution to the way I felt. The solution that seems simple but is not.

It was one of these celebrity columns in HT Cafe. One of these columns that promise a lot but deliver very little. Today's was that of Kunal Kapoor. It was a gem. It was one that made me reflect and freshened some wounds that; well had not healed but maybe I had learnt to live with

them.

The headline was 'To call or not to call.' I read on and he beautifully brought about that feeling of something being amiss; he brought about the feeling of those normal things that were normal back then but feel extraordinarily full of happiness now when you look at other people doing all that now. You get that sinking, envious feeling. A feeling you quickly try to forget; a memory you quickly try to delete; but it stays on and lingers. It lingers whenever you scroll through your contacts.

I often scroll through my contacts. There are friends there; friends from here, there and everywhere; friends that I have chosen; friends that share a lot of things with me; friends that make me think ten times before pressing that green button to call them without a particular reason!

Kunal Kapoor in the article says, "I am surrounded with friends but I have lost the one I had nothing in common with but felt most comfortable with." I share similar sentiments.

I share those sentiments of wanting to call that friend too. But I share his dilemma of what his reaction would be. Does he miss the time he had with me? Does he miss those things that were normal back then?

I dialed that familiar number and as soon as I dialed it I cut the call. He has not called since the drunken brawl was all that my head screamed out. I don't know whether I will find a friend who I will feel as comfortable with again. I really miss those normal things. I don't know whether 'To call or not to call.' Maybe a message would be a good idea.